Friday, December 26, 2014

Predicting what's next...

Al-Bukhaari narrated in his Saheeh (hadeeth no. 4477) that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:
“Whoever tells you that he knows what will happen tomorrow is lying.” 
Then she recited, 
“No person knows what he will earn tomorrow.”
Yes, only He knows what'll come next and you'll never know. But you can still predict, you can still plan your future. However, bear this in mind that He's the greatest planner. He knows what's best and what's not.

As stated in the Quran, 2:216: 
"Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not."

This is a phase that everyone needs to undergo. Even aku pun tengah undergo the same phase. Where not only everyone but everything pun changes.

Kau tahu tak which parts were the hardest? 

It was when my path keeps on changing and the plans that I've planned were all ruined. Not really ruined lah, just that it keeps on being perturbed that I once felt like giving up on planning and to just go with the flow.

At first I've planned to stay at UTP, untuk graduate with degree there and be a successful geologist. But then, after result SPM, aku dapat offer to do foundation in Sains Hayat dekat UM or to be exact, PASUM. Studying Sains Hayat, my parents or actually everyone was pushing me to be such doctor. Cliche, huh?

I know it's gonna be really tough but this was the time when I feel like giving up and to just go with the flow. Huh. To decide something when you don't really have many options is really not a good thing to do, seriously. But then, after almost a month struggling dekat PASUM, suddenly ada offer from JPA, to do engineering in United States. Alhamdulillah. But again, I had to make a decision. And yeah, I'm finally in INTEC, doing a 2-year preparation bawah program ADFP and ACTP.

One semester passed and it was not a real smooth journey. I learned a lot and I failed a lot too. I met new people, most of them are way better than me. Insecure? Yes, all the time. They are damn good in almost everything that I feel like a total potato. Sometimes rasa macam I've made a wrong decision by accepting JPA's offer. Rasa macam JPA offered the wrong person. I am no one compared to the others. Haih :'(

Tapi takkan lah aku nak let that negativity spreads in me kan. So I'll try my best untuk struggle to the hardest so that I could excel in everything.

Allah tu kan Maha Adil. He won't let our hard works unpaid. I believe in that. Kalau tak ada rezeki dekat sini, maybe in the hereafter, we'll never know. And I'll stick to this.

Oh, do you know another toughest part?

It was when I couldn't have a strong stand on something. When I said that I won't get myself involved in such trivial matters but then aku sendiri yang cari pasal sebokkan diri dalam those useless thingy.
Aku pun tak tahu how to express this but it's something that I couldn't really avoid it even after I've tried so hard.

It is when someone comes and really makes you feel like "something". And his affections are growing up in your own self even when you keep on telling yourself that those were all unworthy. You know it was risky and you can't help it but to be brave enough to take the risk. He keeps on appearing and you'll be longing for his presence when he's absence. That kinda feeling.

I tried not to fall for anyone before the right time, but maybe because I simply tried. I didn't try hard enough.

So, I'm predicting what's next and I'll try to make myself flexible enough to simply evolve when there's another changes.

Oh here I served you some pictures of my Fall Semester in INTEC, with the Houstonmates and my housemates.
Houston's first outing together. :D

Special farewell "party" for Miss Sheikha, our ToEFL lecturer :)

My awesome housemates :D

My brilliant and kind roommate :D

Thank you for completing my Fall Semester :)

Can't wait to start Spring Semester in another 8 days, I think. Oh I suddenly miss you guys :'(